Confidence by Melissa

Saturday, April 14, 2012
image from CEEBEE

A friend directed me to this article a couple of weeks ago called “How to talk to little girls," and it changed the way I talk to all the adorable little girls I meet. The article says that the first thing little girls hear most often is how cute they are, and who can blame you when you see any adorable child. But, the author points out that “teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything.” This got me thinking about what my dad would say every time I came downstairs in a prom dress, Sunday dress, dance costume, and when I stepped out in my wedding dress. He would say, “Melissa, it’s not the dress, it’s the girl in the dress.” But my dresses were so glamorous, so beautiful! Of course it was my dress!

It wasn’t until I sat sweating through my suit thinking about how I could impress the interviewer across from me for my future career that I realized:  It wasn’t my suit. It was the girl in the suit. What could I say to this woman to make her believe I would be a good candidate for her school? She had me on paper, all my grades, extracurriculars...everything. What else did she need? Me - who was the girl in the suit? Needless to say, I bombed that interview. My confidence had flown out the door right before I had stepped into her office. What was left was a Banana Republic pencil skirt with a feminine suit coat, black nylons, black kitten heels from Macy's, and Gap white button-down with a total dud standing in them.

As women we have so much to be confident in. I think many times the way we dress reflects the way we feel about ourselves, hope to feel about ourselves, or how we want others to perceive us. I think the most important thing we can do is dress to express who we are:  amazing well-rounded people who have much more to offer the world than our pretty faces. I know I dressed up when I went to take a hard exam. Expressing my confidence in how I dressed always helped me remember I was smart, I had studied, and, most importantly, I could do this. Now, I dress to express me - all of me. So, how do you dress up your confidence?

10 comments :

  1. Awesome post! I dress up my confidence everyday by wearing things I absolutely love! :-)

    www.sweetenedstyle.com

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  2. Great post, Melissa. I dress up my confidence by wearing things I'm comfortable in that are appropriate for the occasion but accurately reflect my personality and tastes.

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  3. I saw that article too, between that and the Samantha Brick "I'm so beautiful" story there's such fuzziness about how to accept one's appearance. Great post, and thanks for sharing these thoughts.

    xoxo
    www.natashafatah.blogspot.com

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  4. Wow. Thank you so much, Melissa! You really changed my way of thinking.
    It's true, everywhere we go the first thing to hear is "You look gorgeous!" or "That's such a nice dress!". You never here "You are strong, courageous girl" or something like that. I always wondered why we all dress up panicly when there's an important event coming, but now, I do understand. We want to present ourself and - as we were taught as cute little girls - we do this with our clothes.
    Thank you again!

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  5. I read that article awhile ago and was surprised by how true it is! I love asking kids what their favorite subject in school is or what they're learning in school...and older girls what they're reading because I'm always looking for good books! I know what you mean though, and I like that thought "It's the girl in the dress". Great insight! 

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  6. I love this post! I always feel confident wearing the clothes that I love, so I guess I should apply that when shopping for clothes....

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  7. Thanks for the post! It definitely gave me something to think about...and the attached article was also very insightful!

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  8. beautiful true post loved it xo

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  9. Thanks for the post! I love your thoughts on dressing for ourself. I am also a mormon fashion blogger in Australia. You might like my post 'Don't waste a woman' http://addsomesugar.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/dont-waist-a-women/

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