Hello! If you don't remember me from my first post, my name is Megan and I blog over here. I'm so excited to be guest posting about my beliefs in being modest.
When I was in high school, dressing modestly was honestly not hard for me. I was confident in myself and knew who I was. I didn’t question the teachings from my parents and church leaders to stay modest and clean. In fact, I loved developing my own style and standing out of the crowd! I never even so much as felt tempted to wear a two-piece to the pool. It just wasn't for me and I knew it.
Jump ahead about four years and my feelings changed pretty dramatically. I started feeling obligation and frustration with finding modest clothes. I would see all these cute girls with short skirts and sleeveless dresses and feel incredibly frumpy. I felt like I just had layers and layers of bulky clothes keeping me back from being able to be one of the fashionable.
Add those frustrations to a pregnancy and all of the body changes that come with it and I was miserable. I felt like this modesty thing really started to cramp my style.
I remember venting to my husband about it one day when he helped put things in perspective for me. He told me that being modest wasn’t just about tons of layering. It is more about an outward expression of my own self-confidence and respect. And when I truly understood my own self-worth, taking care of my body would just come naturally.
I took my husband’s counsel to heart and tried to change my attitude. I started enjoying finding cute, modest clothes and styling them just right. I regained my passion for quirky and eclectic designs. And more importantly, I learned to more fully love myself.
Did/do you see modesty as an obligation? How do you accept it in your own life?
I see modesty as a way that I can certainly give back. Honestly I don't love dressing with things hanging out anyway. Sometimes its hard, but our lives are a mist, being modest here is momentary :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, what a great perspective by your husband an "outward expression of your own self-confidence and respect." My husband tells me that men get so many attacks daily of immodesty that I should be a safe haven. Which I totally agree with.
Thanks for sharing, Megan. Love your outfit! Love, SUZE
AMEN Sista!! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAshley:)
www.flatstoflipflops.blogspot.com
Modesty is a complete way of life. You don't need to be showy with how you dress the same way you don't need to use vulgarity in everyday conversation. I love that you have found a way to reconcile all of you frustrations!
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful Megan!
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ReplyDeleteI would have to disagree with you. I think that everyone has there own opinion of what is appropriate based on their own beliefs and background. For example, some Muslim women only show their faces and hands, and this is their interpretation of what is appropriate and modest. While other women, such as myself, do not see any problem with sleaveless shirts or skirts a couple inches above the knee, and do not consider them immodest. Both could or could not have great self-confidence and respect for themselves. Making assumptions about others and judging them based on your standards seems very un-Christian to me. To each his (or her) own. I have friends at both extremes of the 'modesty spectrum' - the way they dress has more to do with their background/culture/beliefs than it does with their sense of self-worth.
ReplyDeleteI believe in humility more than modesty!!!
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personally, i just don't feel comfortable with my chest so exposed "they" are falling outta my top OR showing more than 2/3 of my LONG legs. especially around guys. for some people, it's harder, but for me, it's simply a preference. i'd rather a guy laugh at my jokes rather than be looking at my body the whole time we're together.
ReplyDeleteModesty is a gift. You want to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
ReplyDeleteAnd modesty is all up to interpretation even with guidelines. Shorter skirts doesn't make someone less modest if they have thick leggings on for example. And a long skirt doesn't make someone more modest if it basically accentuates their bottom half, showing ever curve and crevice lol I know that is exaggerating but you know what I mean.
Modesty is knowing your body. What is modest on someone may not look modest on you because your body is different.
www.mrschong.com
Excellent post :) I think I usually view modesty as more of a privlage, a way to give back to God and my husband. Now I am not the flashiest dresser, and my struggle is more with not wearing sweats and over-sized tees everywhere than with low-cut shirts.
ReplyDeleteI believe in dressing modestly too, always have. It's great to see others feeling the same way! It's not fair to men who are trying to keep themselves pure, and it causes men that aren't trying to keep their minds pure to look at women as meat, more than as a person. Great topic and post!
ReplyDeleteFrom a LDS point of view:
ReplyDeleteAs a recent convert to this church, AND coming from Hawai'i, I had indeed found it hard to dress modestly after getting sealed and having 2 kids. {the body changes! *sigh*} Now, 5 years later, I still find it hard whenever I visit home and have to deal with the humidity and the UNmodesty of my family, but sites like this help me to feel more confident about it. THANKS!
Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Iris. That is a great way of looking at it.
ReplyDeleteI believe that for me, it is not only an obligation but an honor. Some may thing that obligation means forced to even when you do not want to. I don't see it that way. I feel that if I love God, respect myhusband, myself and my family, then yes, I am obligated to be modest in all things. There is so much sex appeal and individual style in modesty if you choose to make it about who you are in your relationship with your own beliefs. I believe that my husband finds me sexy and attractive when I am dressed in a way that compliments who I am both inside and out. I personally wouldn't have it any other way. We teach our daughters to be set a part from other young girls who may show their bodies for attention by covering up and letting their natural light shine. That is what attracts people to you. It's better to have people drawn to you for the right reasons then the wrong ones.
ReplyDeleteCarrie, I don't think Megan was judging anybody, at least, not intentionally. She is simply giving personal insight into her journey of realization to her idea of modesty and not anyone else's. If that is linked to her sense of self-worth, then so it is. If it's linked to her background/culture/beliefs, then it is as well. I don't think any of us should say it isn't.
ReplyDeleteCarrie, I'm so sorry if my message was misunderstood. I did not mean to come across like I was judging anyone. I was just speaking on my own behalf about what being modest means for me based on what I believe. I do not think women who wear sleeveless shirts have less self-confidence at all nor do I think my interpretation of modesty is greater than others. My message was just completely based on how I apply modesty in my own life. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Suze!! I really appreciated that my husband was willing enough to help me realize that and help remind me of my own worth. It's good to have him around for things like that ;) Thank you for your kind comment!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Tracy!
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand you on the sweats! I struggle with that a lot too. I love how you describe modesty as a privilege. I need to remember that :)
ReplyDeleteI agree completely! Modesty can be different for different people and body types. You definitely have to know what fits you best and how. Thank you so much for that perspective!
ReplyDeleteOh thank you, Melanie!! You are so nice :)
ReplyDeleteVery well said! I love what you said about dressing in a way that compliments you both inside and out. That is beautiful.Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashley!
ReplyDeleteyes and yes!! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Iris! You are right that it encompasses everything you do in life. What a great reminder. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe that you look at men that way. They are very well able to look at a woman in a short skirt without thinking "sex!" at once. I live in Berlin where almost everyone is walking around short, short, short and men are still their goold old selves. And even if they like to look at women that wear short skirts - so what? It doesn't neccessarily mean that they look at women as meat.
ReplyDeleteAs a convert to the church I did have a hard time changing my mindset on modesty. Now I see it as a blessing, like all spiritual laws. I am much more comfortable when I am not worried about what may be showing or how much I am revealing when I bend over. I love what you said about it being a reflection of how much we value ourselves and how we appreciate the gift of this body.
ReplyDeleteI do think we sometimes get caught up in the specifics instead of the spirit and tone of the commandment, though. I do feel as though we sometimes tend to judge others and I remember specifically being told when I first began coming to church that something I was wearing was not modest. I was so humiliated and upset and that is not the only time it has happened. Over the years I have been told my skirt was too short or my slit too high or shirt too low cut by well-intentioned members of our church, when in all honestly they felt fine to me. I have always tried to remember that it is not my job to make sure anyone is modest but myself and my children and even then, it is best to give them the guidelines and encourage & allow them to follow them on their own. Anyway, that is another topic entirely ...... great post!
Great comment, thank you!
ReplyDeleteI think of modesty as more of an attitude than a wardrobe but this was a very cute article. And I love the pops of color with the teal belt and necklace :p
ReplyDelete-Elyse
For Elyse Clothing Online
I believe modesty is more of a heart issue than a clothing issue. God wants us to be modest, out of respect for Him, others and ourselves I think we should be. Also, we are able to help our Christian brothers guard their eyes by dressing modestly. At the same time, we can be modest and beautiful without being frumpy. There's a balance :-)
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