Side of self-confidence please!

Thursday, September 10, 2009
NOTE: This is not a self-pity post. It is a self-help post.
modest lds fashion blog
modest lds fashion blog
Wearing Old Navy tshirt ($4), Gap scarf ($8), Wet Seal skirt ($10), G.Wiz shoes ($10).


To be quite frank, I don't enjoy getting these pictures taken. EVER. I never know what to do. I never feel comfortable. I think I try too hard....and over-analyze. I'm always anxious when I see people coming so I tell the husband to hurry up before they get any closer. The title is true - I am not very self-confident. I know most of us have had similar feelings at some point in our lives so how have/do you built/d your self-confidence?

58 comments :

  1. doesn't it help when you get a gazillion comments on every post telling you what great style you have?

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  2. you could try faking it, especially around people you don't know at all.. and then it kind of becomes natural when you see how people respond to you positively. There's a lot of people who don't even have the looks but they act confident around others and it's like the looks part doesn't even matter, but you def are beautiful so theres noo reason for you to be at all unconfident :)

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  3. Elaine, we are always hardest on ourselves. I think you're darling. Each and every day. You also inspire others to be their best. That's beautiful too. Lovely inside and out. Re: the photos. I love how my daughter photographs her outfits for her blog. She takes all her own photos partly out of necessity, partly because we wouldn't allow her to show her face for a very long time and partly because she's a very private person (except in blog land!) I think you've looked at her blog before. Look again with a different eye. Sometimes you might not feel like a head to toe shot. If so, look more closely at the details. Even your surroundings. http://sochicitsscary.blogspot.com
    Hope this helps. I enjoy what you do.

    shari
    rottenbananasblog.blogspot.com

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  4. One more thing....I feel confident because I make the most of my life. I enjoy my family. I enjoy getting up in the morning. I enjoy moving my body. I feel confident when I make things. All these things give me self confidence.
    shari

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  5. i hate having my picture taken, but i guess i just accept that i'm just not as gorgeous in real life as i am in my head (ha ha ha!)

    no really, though, you are beautiful and you should know that God made you lovely and perfect and no matter what ... "pretty is as pretty does."

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  6. ps. i am adding you to my blog roll! i love your posts.

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  7. Hi Elaine, firstly thankyou for stopping by my blog :)
    Im the same as you when my boyfriend is taking photos of me, but yes as Shari said, we are more critical of our selves than others are of us, and things we may not like about ourselves, ive learnt others may not even notice!
    I certainly love your photos, and think you look gorgeous in all of your photos.

    Rose

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  8. What makes me confident is not placing my self worth on what other people think of me. I know who I am in Christ, and I know that my husband loves me for who I am.
    It took me a LONG time to get to the point where I can say that, but really...who else's opinion matters?
    God loves you and so does your husband, so you've got EVERYTHING going for you, girl! :)
    (but in case you DO care what others think, we think you're pretty awesome...)
    -Kristin
    http://thefaithfulfashionista.blogspot.com

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  9. You look so cute in these pictures, no one could ever tell you feel awkward and uncomfortable... except for you! I know self-confidence takes time to build, and I'm certainly not a stellar example myself, but if I could look as adorable as you do just standing still, I'd taken photos of myself more often! :)

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  10. I always feel awkward when posing for blog pictures too, but I've found that the more I experiment with my outfits or pictures the more confident I become from all the lovely feedback from readers. You should't be so self concious, you pictures always look great!

    xoxo

    www.fashioneye.typepad.com

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  11. I once was at that point where I have almost no self-confidence. Having a really supportive people around me helped me a lot to get through that phase. The basic strategy is simply not to think what other people may think about you. Easier said than done, but practice makes perfect. So, next time people coming when you shoot your pics, just think, "Whatever. I'm getting my pictures taken, so what??" They probably won't even care anyway... You can do it, girl!! ^_^

    Anyway, I love your skirt, and I think you look pretty...

    http://thenovembergirl.blogspot.com

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  12. I completely understand having little self confidence, I am a very self conscious person and I hate that about myself. But you have absolutely no reason to be shy, you're always dressed adorably and are gorgeous!

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  13. I can honestly tell you I understand how you feel. When I take pictures, I'm very self conscious because despite my weight loss, I still feel huge. I try to pose in ways that don't make me look like a stuffed turkey. I don't really have any poses or very many so I always look the same. As far as how I've built the little self-confidence I have now is that I take these pictures for me. I mean, yea I have a blog, but the fact is, the pictures are for me, to see how I look from another person's perspective. I also look at some other blogs to get an idea for new poses. I just try to stay natural. Just be yourself, and if people don't like it, well, forget about them.

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  14. I have no answers, but just wanted to say that I recently subscribed to your blog and have really been enjoying it! I love your style and like seeing the clothing choices you make for each day. I know it's not a magic cure to hear someone else say it, but I think you look great. I have plenty of insecurities myself, but I will say that new clothes definitely perk up my mood. Permanently? Not as much. I know I'm still a work in progress...

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  15. self-confidence is such a difficult thing to achieve and i'm still on my way to having it. i just tell myself not to worry too much and just have fun with whatever i do because ultimately it's my life and no one else's so live it to the fullest :)
    and you look amazing in your pictures so don't be self-conscious. i feel pretty silly too when i'm taking pictures so most of them usually end up bad because i purposely screw up some part of the picture, be it my face or my pose. :P
    - jen
    p.s. i love love love your skirt and your scarf belt!

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  16. I can't answer that because I have no self confidence!

    But I always love your outfits!! so cute. and I want to buy a scarf to make a belt like yours!

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  17. aww i think you look adorable and have no reason to be self-conscious whatsoever :) though i can definitely relate, taking posed pictures always comes awkwardly for me unless it is just myself and a tripod. maybe try taking more fun and spontaneous pictures, that way it'll capture the fun in your outfit and relationship :D

    oh and wet seal skirt for real? i loves it!

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  18. I often think of myself as a better "coach" than a "doer". It's much easier to teach someone about self-confidence, or fashion, or style, or.... It's another thing entirely to take that same advise and apply it to one's self. Self confidence is one of those things. It's easy to show others what makes them beautiful, but much harder to see those things in ourselves.

    modern me @
    www.whitneylowry.com

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  19. well...I love to have my pictures taken, if people are around looking on the edge to make me feel embarrased, I think "I'm just taking a photo, it's not ilegal..."

    xxx

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  20. I like your pictures so much!!!
    it's hard to pose for the camera, I was not very well as posing.

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  21. You are so cute! The trick to being confident is to never be too hard on yourself. Don't think too much about what others think. Just face the day and do what you have to do and know that you are strong, beautiful, and creative. Don't try hard to prove it. As long as you prove it to yourself and you are happy, it will show! Love the outfit!

    colormenana.blogspot.com

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  22. When I was really low in self-confidence, the one thing that really helped me was someone telling me that if I called down a friend the way I called myself down, I'd have no friends left! You have friends, and a husband, who love you because you deserve to be loved - so count on the support and love of your friends and it'll get you through any low patch.

    http://dreamingspiresandoldcartyres.blogspot.com/

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  23. I feel the SAME way when I take pics for my blog- but that is WHY i'm doing it, to become more confident. I may not rank anywheres near where all the people I follow in style- but I'm learning and enjoying myself in the process. I love your pics, you come out so cute, quirky, stylish, and sometimes shy-looking, but it makes me feel like we see the real you!

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  24. cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute skirt!!!

    myglitteringcreation.blogspot.com

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  25. Thank you for your comment! My mom LOVES your blog and now I do too!

    I take my own pictures, but when people take my own I feel the same way you do. I just can't relax. You still look fantastic, I love your skirt!

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  26. It took me a long time too, and I still tend to only take them if there aren't people around. Give it time. And remember, you look AMAZING!!!!!

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  27. I think most of us don't like having our photo taken. Although nowadays with technology and having the ability to edit our photos, it's a little less painful.

    You looks adorable! Love that you used the scarf belt again.
    Happy weekend!
    xx

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  28. I love that skirt! The print is perfect, and it goes so well with the navy tee and red shoes. Love it.

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  29. I also find it hard to take my blog photos in a public or semi-public place. I'm afraid people will think I'm vain of "all that."

    It helps to just focus on the pics and having fun. Soon I forget anyone else is there at all. Take a few funny/silly ones first to loosen up. And take LOTS of photos, so that you don't have to worry about every one being good.

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  30. you look adorable... I feel like confidence is slowly coming with age. Almost like practicing it each day has started to pay off!

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  31. You look cute! Love the skirt and I like how you paired it with navy rather than a red or something to match the shoes/skirt.

    I find I am so randomly confident- like at times when I shouldn't be insecure I am, and vice versa...no rhyme or reason!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  32. I'm the exact same way with pics. S is always telling me "who cares if someone walks by?", "you look like you don't want to have your picture taken"...HA, it's cause I don't. I'm hoping the self-consciousness goes away - when I think about it, it shouldn't really matter who's watching. People stare at people doing a lot worse :)

    Such a happy skirt, love it!

    p.s. Last night I dreamt S and I stopped by his co-worker's house and YOU answered the door. HA! But we didn't get to talk too much...chaos ensued and we all had to go.

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  33. You always look like you have lots of self confidence! Love those flats!

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  34. I'm the exact same as you regarding taking photos. Maybe try having them taken where there are not so many people around? It totally doesn't show that you're not self-confident though. As for gaining self-confidence, I think the best tip is fake it till you make it. :)

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  35. I suggest a more confident pose. You often have your feet crossed at the ankle, which makes you look shy or uncomfortable. Look at how movie stars pose, and copy that! They're usually at an angle to the camera, looking over their shoulder a little. It's got a confident, flirty feel to it.

    Also, I've accepted the fact that I frequently look ridiculous in photos, but that it's not an accurate representation of how I look in real life.

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  36. Just look around you. You are pretty, healthy, intelligent, elegant and you have a man that adores you!! You deserve to feel confident!!
    xxxx

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  37. Just smile and call it a day. When people look at me, I just smile. Good thing they also smile back, haha!

    It's my hubby who is self-conscious about taking my photos outside. That's why almost all of my photos are taken indoors with poor lighting taken by the camera self-timer.

    Lovely DYI on the scarf-cum-belt. I'll definitely follow that. ;)

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  38. If you had not mentioned, you would have fooled me.
    I can´t get enough of your pretty belt-scarves !! :)
    In my case, I am still building mine.... that is my confidence !

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  39. when i was younger i felt the same way but when i just let go alittle, everything is better. I learn to give myself more credit.

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  40. What's funny is that from all the pictures I've seen on this blog so far you always look: a) adorable, and b) extremely self-assured. The phrase "fake it 'til you make it" has real benefits. I think in large ways we shape how others see us. You can be anything you want to be if you only learn to project the qualities you wish you had. So, in short, I think you do a great job of fooling us all. It doesn't hurt that you actually look like a model.

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  41. I feel dorky when I take photos, too, but I've found that if I look like I'm having a good time, then people believe it... which in turn leads to me believing it! I think confidence is definitely one of those things where "faking it 'til you make it" works!

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  42. girl, look how popular your blog is! i am sure most of us has crooked a look or two or five. that should be a great boost!

    btw, love your skirt! i love everything you do with your wardrobe.

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  43. Ahh, I fail at self confidence
    However you should feel confident in yourself, you're gorgeous and have amazingg style so I really don't think there's anything for you to worry aboutt, and everyone has fallen in love with your blog and your stylee. I'd take that as a good timess and a confidence boost.

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  44. I absolutely ADORE your skirt and scarf! Super cute!!!

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  45. You don't like getting your pics taken? You're BEAUTIFUL! I've gone through times where my self confidence was extreeemely low, but I've gotten over it. I have a post on my blog coming up actually soo I guess stay tuned for that :) For now, I know it's kind of what everyone says, but keep your head up high and forget about the bad things people think of you!

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  46. I do the exact thing(hurry, hurry, I feel so dorky). Thus, in that regard I can offer no advice, but I can say that you look very cute and natural and are over thinking it!

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  47. You know, i think dressing for yourself and not for other people, like you and all the other fabulous fashion bloggers I read do. You always look lovely, you have nothing to be down about!

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  48. I don't have any self-confidence tips. Although, I would feel the same way if people were around while taking pictures. Mostly because I think they would just wonder, "What on earth are they doing?!"

    But you look absolutely gorgeous! You have such a lovely style! Your outfits always look fab. :)

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  49. That's funny. I'm the same way with picture-taking. You always look so model-like and confident, I never would have guessed :)

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  50. i know what youy mean i feel like the biggest freak when i take pics in public and people look over .they dont stare but i guess they wonder why imtaking a random pic .. i get nervous and make weird face if i look at the camera so my soluition to this is just not too look too much at the camera or else i will get awkward .. so i look away .. if you see most of my pics (nadia, with the black hair ) i look away .. its pretty funny but it gets the job done

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  51. i try to stop caring what other people think, but that can be really hard! :) u look fab btw. trying to be different is the best thing i think- not too different, but just a little bit

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  52. Your skirt is just lovely. And the scarf and top are fab paired with it.

    Florrie x

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  53. The print on your skirt is super cute!! I also love the tutorial on how to tie scarf-belts in another post; will definitely try it out one day! <3

    Taking outfit photos does not come that easily to me either, especially in public places where people are bound to pass by. I suppose the more you are exposed to it, the gradual thickening of the skin helps to ease the discomfort and flighty response to incoming strangers though! :D

    p.s. don't worry, you look fab as always!

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  54. Very thoughtfull post on self confidence.It should be very much helpfull

    Thanks,
    Karim -
    Positive thinking

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